adjustment period

i can do many things, appear smart, deal with difficult situations at work, at home but 1 thing i admit i can't do (apart from driving) is being as smart in a relationship.

Sure, the basics are fine, I will not tolerate getting verbally or physically abused, vulgarities, etc.
But increasingly I think I'm seeing why people did say that I could be someone who could be bullied / manipulated in a relationship. As bitchy / argumentative I seem to be, I don't like to be like that in a relationship. I won't like to be defensive or be on my guard in a relationship, i don't like mind-games, or have to feel that its a power struggle.

And I guess me questioning this is a sign that I don't feel as secured yet. Maybe its the comfort zone that I haven't figured out yet. And ironically, the honeymoon period isn't that honey afterall. 2 people who seemed so similar in soo many aspects interestingly could be so different in so many aspects as well. Friends, family, personalities, dealing with things / people. I'm trying not to overthink what it means and try to understand that people can be that vastly different as well.

For now, questions on suitability, long-term plans and priorities are starting to surface.
Maybe if I had answers to all of those, then everything else will fit into place, or fall into pieces.
It's time not to appear smart and smoke through things but actually have the answers.
Darn, I guess its time to grow up.